Omission

Today I saw a woman vacuuming up the gutter in front of her house. Please tell me that she's the insane one and that my never-quite-clean kitchen is normal, not slovenly. Please.

(Imagine that there is a transition here)

When I said I would post something upbeat before the weekend, I didn't say which weekend. Ha! Gotcha! I meant THIS weekend! I don't have anything upbeat in particular to share (besides The Spitfire's perfect bill of health!), beyond the usual "we did this" and "we did that"s of which my boring blog is (not) famous.

Waiting for the train

The Dynamo, The Spitfire, and I took a train ride with Dr. Grandma to Old Town where we perused wonderful Mexico-themed shops, ate amazing Mexican food, were serenaded by a fabulous Mexican trio, and were lucky enough to become honorary members of the Mormon Battalion (yup, they telepathically recognized our skills with a shotgun). TD even got to pan for gold. AND she talked Dr. Grandma into getting her a beautiful, Fancy Nancy-inspired fan which she later earned by swimming across the pool by herself. Width-wise.

Panning for gold. Real gold! No, really.

Being serenaded. This is where TS learned to say "Ay ay ay ay!"

Told ya.

Speaking of guns, gold, and inspiration, I had a fabulous Saturday at Comic-Con with some girlfriends to support our NY Times Bestselling Author friend, Kiersten White, as she spoke on a panel. It was fun seeing her in her element, and it was even more fun to see just how proud her husband was of her. Not for selling books, but for getting him a free pass to Comic-Con. The crazies were out in full force, as usual, and made me feel as though I were incredibly attractive, athletic, and bathed too much. See photos below.

Some famous hulky guy

Chef Vader

Obligatory photo. The mask didn't come off.

Wannabes. 

Some famous Vivica Fox lady

Some famous car. It had a fluxx capacitor.

Some other famous gal.

Watch out. I just killed a bunch of people. Or something.

 

With the ever-impressive Kiersten White

Having survived Comic-Con, we ventured back into the world of traditional summer (in less-than-summer-like 70 degree weather - c'mon heat!) with 4-year-old gymnastics camp all week, leaving me with time to actually cook, clean, and organize. Fun. I did get an ugly old chair spiffed up with paint and fabric, and TD earned a t-shirt through the library's summer reading program, as well as a second-hand Mulan costume through mommy's learning-to-read program. She's very proud of herself.

Gymnastics camp

Giant-headed baby attacks library's infant story time! Run for your lives!!!!

We made sure that the shirt fit.

She's actually convinced that she looks like Mulan.

 

"The Chair" in all it's made-over glory

 And, to finish off the recap:

Bracing herself for a walk with the Urinator

Teacup Baby

Not to brag (that's a lie - I want to brag), but the Spitfire is so adorable that strangers are always coming up to me and telling me what a good job I did making her. True story.*
*I know you're already annoyed with me. But I don't particularly care. Sorry.

She's even adorable when she's exhibiting her newfound talent of tantrum throwing. Loud screech, throw back head, twist body, and fling arms around, smacking everything in reaching distance. She also has another newfound talent - cupboard excavation:

You have to understand how deceptive her looks are. She's hovered in the single percentile digits for height and weight her entire life. To see such a little bundle be so destructive can be disconcerting for some, so hopefully the above photo didn't send anyone into a coma of confusion.

A few more thoughts and photos to round out my homage to TS in anticipation of her first birthday next week. First up, her love of food. Our "teacup baby" (as The Artist calls her) can eat a baby twice her size under the table.

Wow, that statement evoked a very different image than what I intended. Let's try that again.

TS can easily eat twice as much food as a 99th percentile baby and in less time. She's a pig. Favorites? Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, carrots, peanut butter, sweet potato, avocado... Pretty much anything she can get into her mouth. Except egg and squash. She'll eat dog food (and she has - ew!), but she won't eat squash. I wouldn't be surprised if she were winning hot dog eating contests someday (though I would be disgusted).

Happiness is a messy, pint-sized Spitfire

All that food brings us to one of her next favorite things to do:

The high chair nap is a favorite.  If she's in her crib, she'll take a couple of 2-3 hour naps a day. If she's anywhere else (except her high chair), she'll take zero. Vacations (what-cations?) are not a good idea with this one.

As I've previously shown you, TS LOVES the beach. She's such a water baby who happens to also like the taste of sand. Especially when her daddy is in charge of her.

Next favorite place? The park. But only if she gets a turn in the swings. Swings = baby happy place.

TS has an overdeveloped sense of stranger danger. She generally likes people, so long as she can like them from the safety of her Mama's arms. However, she does have a list of people whose arms she'll leap into when she sees them: Gramma, Nana, Grampa, aunts & uncles (most - won't mention the no-gos for everyone's sake), the occasional big, strange man (not good), and especially Papa. She's a big-time Papa's girl.

She's an even bigger sister girl. The Dynamo can get this kid from zero to hysterical laughter in no time flat. I love it so much. I hope that this lasts well into the "hey-she's-wearing-my-jeans-again-without-asking" phase. Wishful thinking?

And, to finish us off:

This photo is representative of my experience parenting: I have no idea what's going on here.

Mustachio

Don't worry - it's on its way in

This morning, I woke up to The Spitfire doing just that. Barfing all over my chest and hair. Which got me to thinking: I haven't done a blog post in awhile.

I actually almost wrote one about the butterflies we metamorphosized, but the big fancy photos were frustrating the H3!! out of me so, alas, that post is going to be lost to time. And I've decided that it's going to be iPhone photos from here on out.

The last few weeks have been a chaotic blur. Honestly, all I really remember is a tornado raging around me with a lot of noise, sand, body fluids, and laundry littering the air all about. Most notably, we've had about 15 relatives (broken up into 3 distinct groups) in town, maybe 4-5 trips to the beach, a baby with a temperature hovering between 102 and 105 for 3 days (it has since settled down into a beautiful, full-body roseola rash), a solo (me and 2 small children ALONE) trip to Disneyland where we got to go on the new Little Mermaid ride before it was open to the general public, The Dynamo hitting up Legoland TWICE, a couple of pool parties at our house, Wacky Tacky day at preschool (see photo), and laundry (I'm averaging 11 loads per week).

She picked her own outfit. No playing in the World Cup for her.

Cousin pile!

And I sewed an awesome yoga mat bag for my SiL for her birthday. I should Etsy those things. Nope!

Mustachio cupcakes for SiL's bday. Guess what flavor.

The Artist donning his Mustachio.

My favorite memories of the past couple of weeks, however, involve my adorable daughters giggling. Even when The Spitfire is horribly sick, The Dynamo can really get her going (typically right before TS barfs everywhere). For example, in the car on the way back from Disneyland (again, I'd like to emphasize that I was by myself with two small children), TD was repeatedly hitting herself and TS with a plastic cup resulting in bouts of laughter like nothing I've ever heard before. Good thing, too, because everyone was beyond exhausted and, to be honest, I was expecting screaming the entire way home.

Not that particular day, but it gives you an idea of how tired we were leaving Disneyland

I'm going to end on that happy note because the smell of The Urinator is starting to singe my nostrils.

Redo

Seeing as how it's been nearly 2 years since I last posted, I thought it would be a good time to jump back in. That, and the fact that I'm overloaded. Seriously overloaded and in need of an outlet. Not that I have time. Nope. The dog ate that. And then peed on the remnants.

No seriously. I have a puppy. Who likes to eat my 10-month-old. Who is then scolded by my 4-year-old. Who is then sent outside to play with the puppy while I try to get some work done, all the while neglecting said 10-month-old. My average day in a nutshell.

So here's the deal. I'm scrubbing the blog clean and starting fresh in hopes of reinventing it. I would simply start up a new blog, but I'm much too in love with the title of this one - and I don't particularly care if you're not. Navigate elsewhere, Killjoy. (Yup, I just named you that.)

Me- I used to be a real go-getter: a hardworking, globetrotting, exercising, attractive, strong young woman. Now I'm older, run down, and still have flecks of paint on the tips of my surprisingly trim nails from that manicureish thing I got 5 months ago. 6 weeks ago I trimmed my grown-out bangs all by myself and ended up with something a little crooked and a lot unfixable. I work at home where I am nagged all day in multiple languages (mainly Smallchild, Babble, and Yap), and I recently stopped looking for grays because they are no longer hidden, although the bottle of hair dye seems to be.

Next up: what I would do with free time if I had it. Blog, I suppose. Darn. There goes that post, as well as the free time.